Saturday, November 30, 2013

Where's Cindy?

Very tired today.
Holidays are difficult. It's hard to enjoy them when you know your loved one can't.

Dad is becoming more and more confused. His difficulty with eating has progressed from forgetting how to use a fork or a spoon to forgetting how to bite down on a piece of food, or how to get the food from his hand to his mouth. Often, I will hand him a cookie or a piece of sandwich and he will just look at it for a while. "What do I do with this?" he'll finally say. He'll pick up his drink, then hesitate. "Is this right?" he asks, tentatively bringing the glass towards his mouth.

When I arrived today to visit him, the aides were having a bit of trouble with him. It was lunch time, but he was refusing to sit down at the table. I got him to sit with me and we ate lunch together (i.e., I helped him eat his meal). Food just isn't as appealing to him as it once was, though he still declares his chocolate milk to be "the best drink out there." God forbid we visit him without a couple of quarts in tow. :)

Today Dad asked me, "Where's Cindy?" I'm not sure if it's so much that he didn't know me as it is that I'm looking more and more like my mother as the years pass. (I startle myself sometimes when I look in the mirror and see her instead of me. Weird feeling.) He may have thought I was her. Still, even after all this time, it makes my heart twinge a little when he doesn't know me.

New slippers.
Took in some new slippers that Sis had ordered for Dad. They were made for diabetics with extra support and some added structure at the toes. We thought it might provide him with more stability for walking. He declared them "quite comfy."

Next Friday is Memory Care's annual holiday dinner. Holiday's hold no meaning for Dad anymore, but Sis and I will be there to share in the spirit anyway.

Sorry for the somewhat sad tone of this post.

As I said, holidays are difficult.

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