Saturday, March 29, 2014

They think I complain too much

Can someone tell me how to feel less? Care less?

They think I complain too much. All I care about is that Dad and the other residents at the home are taken care of with dignity and respect. At $5000-plus a month, is that too much too ask?

Apparently it is.

So, tell me, how do I learn to not care when:

  • his hair is sticking out in a million directions because it doesn't get combed
  • they don't shave him below the chin
  • they put oversized furniture in a common walkway that impedes wheelchairs and residents who use the hand rails to keep from falling
  • staff is constantly changing so the residents are deprived of one of the most important things dementia patients need: stability

I could go on but you get my point.

When I emailed my concerns about that large hutch in the hallway, they couldn't be bothered to acknowledge my email. Obviously, they do not share my concerns.

So, which of the others is also not important to my father's well being or safety? Which of those should I *not* be complaining about? I'm serious. Tell me. Because obviously I don't know: I think they're *all* important, to my Dad and to every other resident that is affected.

But . . . they think I complain too much.


  1. We have to be vigilant with the care of our issue with Mom is they don't do her dentures and mouth daily...never mind twice a day...some of the aids sit her at a lunch table with someone who agitates her afternoon is ruined...

    I am lucky to be there daily but it's not enough...I know to pick my battles ~ there are so many little things that would make her life better...

    That large hutch is in an awful everyone's way...the changing staff is terrible...they need friendly and familiar faces...

    1. Thank you for your comments, Kelley. Love to you and your Mom.

  2. How awful! Hopefully your letters will generate some "talk
    " and things will improve. A buffet in the middle of the hall. That's just ridiculous! Our older generation has looked after their families and they surely deserve to be cared for properly in their old age. Good luck to you. Keep us informed.
    Hugs... Marg :)

    1. Marg, thank you so much for your supportive comments. Hugs back at ya.

  3. My Mom's assisted living probably thinks the same thing about me.

    1. And yet, Nancy, we have to do it, don't we. Love to you and your Mom.

    2. Yes, yes we do. Same to you and your Dad.


Thank you for sharing this journey with us.